chimbleysweep posting in lavenderdiary
29 March, 1984
Something awful happened two weeks ago. Jack and I got into a car accident and he said I died. We were hit on my side and the other car burst into flames. It was all so wrong and so strange and when I woke up Jack wasn’t there and I kept screaming for him and they had to sedate him and it was awful.
But now all I can think about is how Jack could have died and I would have woken up and been without him. He could have! I’m not just being ridiculous this time. He could have died instead of me. He says I did. My dress has a tear across the stomach and side and the new colour proves that he’s not lying. But what if it had been him? What am I going to do without him?
I refuse to be without him. I have to do something and I know what I need to do. Whether or not I’m able to do it will just have to be seen. I can’t not do it. Grandmama didn’t approve of this but I have to. I have to.
There’s no other option.