chimbleysweep posting in lavenderdiary
7 April, 1984
I was still feeling sore today and oh goodness I let Jack go down on me. He seemed more than eager to do it but I was so worried about reciprocation because that’s not something I really want to do and I didn’t make Jack do anything he said please, please can I make you feel better and so I nodded. But it wasn’t so bad. I just used my hand.
I feel like a little child. I need to stop this nonsense. It’s not wrong it’s sex and I’m not a virgin anymore. It’s just that this is such a daunting thing with so many aspects to it that are much more than STICK THIS HERE. That’s simple and the rest takes practise. I know I’ll be all right soon enough.
Jack’s amazing though. I remember speculating about whether or not he was just overeager for sex and not very good at pleasuring girls. How wrong I was to even consider that! I’m luckier than I know, I’m sure. We have a long, long future to tackle the rest. I can’t wait!