lavenderdiary | 3 DECEMBER, 1982

3 December, 1982

Jack’s picking me up in an hour. I hope he found out where I live. I thought it was a smart thing to do to just give my name like that. Part of me wondered if it wouldn’t intimidate him and make him reconsider if all he wanted was to fuck and run. I still don’t know if that will be the case, but I haven’t told anyone, so there’s nothing to lose if he doesn’t show up.

Nothing but internal dignity, anyway.

***

3 December, 1982

Well, he came, at least. A bit later than I expected, but he had a bit of trouble finding the house. He said he bribed a taxi driver and I told him I would pay him back, but he wouldn’t tell me the amount, said it wasn’t necessary. I have a feeling it probably was.

Taxis were irrelevant, anyway. Jack picked me up in his absolutely atrocious car and we went out for ice cream. I picked ice cream because it is guaranteed to be wholesome, especially in December when we would likely be the only ones in the shoppe.

Well, we weren’t exactly alone, but it was intimate enough for all eyes to most likely be on us, just out of boredom. That was a good setting to discuss terms.

I always feel very shy whenever I tell people I don’t have sex, I don’t do drugs and, I don’t drink. I shouldn’t, and I certainly never let myself sound as though I am, but I am just the same. I suppose it’s a bit embarrassing, in a way. Some boys can be very critical of virgins, and some boys can be very critical of non-virgins. Sometimes the same boy is critical of both. And popular culture claims that women are difficult to understand!

I’d much rather be with a boy who knew what he was doing if the time came. That’s quite simple.

Anyway, I told Jack I like him, because I do. He’s genuine. He’s honest. He wasn’t trying too hard, which is a definite first. I mean, he has this air of complete arseholery about him, like he’s much better than everyone, but he certainly didn’t put on any of those airs when talking to me. And all he told me was that he likes me. I pressed him for more, of course, and managed to squeeze out where he goes to school, but he said the important thing is that he likes me.

I think that’s a very important thing when considering a potential relationship, as well! So I said yes. And now we’re going out.

I have a boyfriend.

And I’m absolutely giddy.

I wonder what Avery will say! They attend the same school!

Oh! And Jack kissed me. I can still feel his lips and everything! Oh, my gosh, I should not be this excited when he drives such a disgusting automobile and listens to music that literally bore holes into my skull.